23 May 2009
posted by j at 5/23/2009 10:32:00 AM

It's been a while since my last post. Been in over my head with the tons of marking I had to complete. At some point of time during the no-day-no-night marking, I felt just about the same way I felt when I was climbing Mt KK. It's the "I'm so tired I wanna give up, I can't rem why in the world I'm here in the first place and I don't see how I'm going to make it out of the tunnel..." mentality.

However, I must put in writing, that in spite of circumstances and how I felt at that point of time, God has been very good to me. Providential in the small, yet significant and practical ways. CG, which has been reduced to meeting once a fortnight, happened NOT to be meeting the week I was piah-ing my marking. So other than bsf on mon and tue, I was free to do my marking on wed. And then, because most of the band members were off to Living Praise Pres for choir exchange, band was postponed, which meant I was free on friday as well. And then, some time during the week, Elder Goh smsed to say that he would like to postpone our pmc session for the week because he needed the time to prepare for sunday's sermon. Which left sat free for me to mark as well!! Wow...I was really thankful. I mean, what are the chances of all these happening in the same week, and during the week I needed the extra time the most? I know it was no coincidence, and am extremely grateful to God for His daily and timely mercies.

Another thanksgiving for that particularly long and dreary week....my dearest J. I wouldn't have been the least bit motivated if not for his encouragement, nagging and most importantly, his presence and prayers. He spent a good many days accompanying me on my marking sprees, patiently sitting by my side and entertaining himself while I marked. He never once complained about me wasting his time, nor grumbled about having to be 'punished' along with me. Instead, he encouraged me and motivated me to continue, and prayed for me as well. For that, I was sorely grateful and thankful to God for the gift I have in him. I remember in particular, that saturday night of marking fever week. I had already spent much of the week as well as the whole of that saturday sitting at a cafe with J and marking till I wanted to vomit. And yet I had to continue. The prospect of returning home to mark on my own was really daunting. I didn't think I would be able to motivate myself to do even MORE marking upon getting home, especially when I didn't have company. So I was really manja when it was time to go home. And guess what? My dearest, who didn't drive that day, drove us both to TW (our new and presently unrenovated place which he has been staying at during weekdays cos it's nearer to his office) where I could work undistracted (compared to my place) and the poor dear stayed up as late as he possibly could to keep me company, and then fell asleep on the floor in sheer tiredness, while I continued working.

(The funny thing about me is, I feel motivated even if my company is asleep. I just need someone by my side. Doesn't matter what he is doing or whether he is sleeping. Still better than having no one. Heh.)

And so, I continued working till about 3 am that night, until my red pen ran out of ink, just as I was approaching my quota for the day. Then I fell asleep on the single mattress, which J had given up for me =) Cos he's been the only one staying there, everything (bedding-wise) came in 'ones'. Since I got the mattress and the blanket, the poor dear had to make do with a bolster and a pillow. And in order to get to church on time, he woke up at about 7am the next morning and then I drove him to Chinese Gdn mrt station where he took the train all the way home to Eunos, changed and then headed for church (which is even more east). Felt quite heartpain for his sake.

As for myself, after the crazy marking till the wee hours consecutively for a number of days, I felt really dizzy and sick after getting home that day. Took me a number of days to pay back my sleep debt. Am really glad THAT's over. Phew. Nevertheless, in spite of that difficult period, I am able to testify to God's goodness, as well as the goodness of those He placed in my life =) Praise be to God!