11 January 2006
posted by j at 1/11/2006 02:29:00 PM

I have succumbed. I'm hungry from the diarrheoa-ing ok!! There's nothing else to eat! Pfft. I have gone for the third time today...it seems po chai pills only work for a few hours...
 
posted by j at 1/11/2006 10:24:00 AM

I must not eat the marshmellows on my table...i must not eat the marshmellows on my table...i must not eat the marshmellows on my table...even tho they really have been sitting there for a long time...I must NOT eat the marshmellows on my table...I am stronger than this....i must not eat the marshmellows on my table...but if i dun eat it it will turn bad and food is gonna be wasted and we all know we should not waste food...I must not eat the marshmellows on my table...i JUST had a SANDSWICH!! why am i still hungry?? i must not eat the marshmellows on my table...marshmellows cannot be good for my diarrhoea...i must not eat the marshmellows on my table!! ARRRGGHH...
 
06 January 2006
posted by j at 1/06/2006 11:37:00 AM

THESE machines have a temperament of their own...They can throw a tantrum at ANY time and for no good reason.... Hence, to minimize the incidence of breakdowns, out of the goodwill of my heart, i sent out a siren of warning to the newbies at work.

It has been observed that these copiers follow certain behavioural patterns which adhere to these rules...

West Spring Photocopiers' Rulebook:
1. I reserve the right to take a break at ANY time.
2. I dislike being made to make double-sided photocopies intensely. Use the DUPLEX function at your own risk. (On good days however, I may decide to do 4-5 duplex copies before conking out. In times of fury, refer to Rule 1 above.)
3. I reserve the right to print slowly. For fast service, pls use my neighbour, the risograph. I will not take responsibility for any frustration at my speed that results in loss of hair or damage to any body parts whatsoever.
4. I print up to a max of 20/30/40?? (depending on my mood) at any one point of time. For 40 copies and above, pls use my neighbour, the risograph. I dislike being overheated and will have a tendency to observe Rule 1.
5. The blinking indications on my LCD screen only show where the jams are. Removing the indicated paperjams does NOT mean that i will henceforth work.
6. Paperjams are my best friends. We go hand in hand together. In fact, after 1 paperjam, another soon comes after...and so the cycle goes...There's nothing you can do to stop us...MuahHAhahahaa..